How hiking changed – and saved – my life

Following is a guest post by Eric Kohlhepp. Read it. You’ll be happy you did.

According to the dictionary, “hiking” is “the activity of going for long walks, especially in the country or woods.”

To me, that seems like such a short, basic definition for a word that can and does mean so much more.

I think a better definition for hiking would be… the activity of going for long walks in the country or the woods, that will inspire positive thinking, invite you to slow down, enhance emotional resilience and balance, help you practice presence, and make you happy.

I’ve been an avid hiker for almost 5 years, and this is how hiking, and all that it does, has changed my life in the most positive ways.

This is my story.

Losing at life on a grand scale

At an early time in my life, I lost both of my parents to cancer. My dad died when I was just 5 years old, and my mom died five years later, when I was 10. It was just after the loss of my mother that I stepped onto a very long road of bad choices and self-destructive behavior. I became a persistent runaway, I got kicked out of public school, I got kicked out of the alternative school, I was stealing food from stores so I could eat, I was stealing loose change or any money that I could find from unlocked cars, and I was getting into trouble with the law. At such a young age, I was in constant battles with myself, and I was learning the survival way of life. Without even knowing it, I was losing those battles and at life on a grand scale.

Just two years after the death of my mother, and at the age of 12, I was signed over to the state of New York and entered the foster care system. I ended up going through four different children’s homes and left the last one when I was 18. With barely any contact with my family throughout the years that I spent in foster care, and with no money, I left that last children’s home with nothing and nobody. I immediately had no choice but to turn to what I knew best, and that was to survive my way through life.

Surviving, no matter whom I hurt

Upon my release from the last children’s home, I became homeless. I was on the streets for quite some time before turning to a life of crime. I’ve been in county jail more times than I can remember, and I spent two years in prison. It wasn’t until I was 25, that I finally had a situation present itself, that would help me stop traveling down a road that would have surely led me to prison for much longer than two years, or that may have even led to an early grave.

At 25 I got married, which for me at the time, was more of a survival tactic than what a marriage should actually be. I thought that maybe this would be a great opportunity for me to just stop all of the self-destructive behavior, and to start winning the battles that I still fought with myself every day. Although a lot of things did stop, the battles were still there, and the self-destructive behavior still persisted. I was married for ten years and had three children in that marriage. Like every situation that I had been in before, this was no different. I manipulated and lied my way through those ten years. I made that relationship and that environment work for me. Surviving, all I was trying to do was survive as easily as I could no matter whom it hurt.

After I separated from my wife and eventual divorce, I spent years job hopping and spent those same years being in one broken relationship after another. The battles were still there, I was still self-destructive, and I was still losing at life. I was beginning to wonder if the survival type of lifestyle would ever come to an end for me. I was beginning to wonder if there was an answer out there that would solve all of my problems at once. So, I decided that maybe if I moved to a new place, that would be the answer that I was looking for.
I moved to a whole new city, closer to my family, who I had finally found after years of searching for. This move was what I thought would be a whole new opportunity to get rid of my battles. To leave my past behind me. It wasn’t until years later that I learned that all I had been doing with this move, was running from my problems and not facing them head on. For a long time after moving, I still wasn’t getting better. On some levels, the battles were only getting worse. The self-destructive behavior was still so obvious. I was still adding toxic energy to relationships that I was in, I was still losing battles, and I was leaving a path of destruction behind me.

The beginning of an answer

Then, after taking the advice from a woman that I had been dating at the time, I got into therapy for the first time. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I thought at the time, that I finally had my answer. Although therapy helped me learn about my diagnosis and how it is the leading contributor to my self-destructive behavior, I felt like it wasn’t truly helping me. I was still losing my battles, I just didn’t see or feel like I was getting any better. So, instead of continuing with therapy, I felt like I could do better on my own and I stopped going.

For years after this choice, “on my own” turned out to be just as destructive as it was prior to going to therapy.
I wasn’t willing to give up so easily though. I knew that I was only getting older, life was passing by so quickly, and that if I wanted to have the life that I felt like I deserved, then it would be on the other side of the things that I didn’t want to do. I got back into therapy for a second time and still talk to a therapist to this day. I started putting in the time to learn, and to do the research into what I’ve been diagnosed with. I was constantly on the search for ways to take control of my life, for the one thing or things that would help me win my battles. I knew that if I just dedicated myself to this, that the answer I was looking for, would show itself one day.

“One day” finally came

After so much dedication, devotion and all of the sacrifice that I put into my mental well-being over those years, that “one day” finally showed itself. I was reading an article about how it’s important to pull the things from our past that contributed positive energy to our lives at a time when everything seemed so negative. To focus on those positive things and not on the things that caused so much destruction throughout our lives. That maybe one of those things from our childhood, could be the one thing or help find the one thing that would be the thing to help you take control of your life. So, I gave that some thought and I remember that I have always had a love for the outdoors. Even as a kid, and especially after my mom passed away, I would find myself hiking all over the big hill and through the woods across the road from where I lived. It was the only positive aspect from my past that I could think of.

It wasn’t long after I had read this article, that I decided that maybe going for a short hike would help. Maybe taking that one thing that I loved to do as a kid, would help me as an adult. I only hiked about three miles that day. When I got done and back to my vehicle, I sat there for just a few minutes before driving away. I couldn’t believe how good I felt. Physically, emotionally, and most important, how good I felt mentally. So, I kept going for hikes. I got onto some longer trails and started camping out overnight. I noticed that over time, I was actually taking control of just some of the smallest aspects of my life. I wasn’t really winning any big battles yet, but I was definitely winning some small ones, and I was gaining ground. Doors started opening and dreams began to form. Life was beginning to get better a little at a time. With each new hike, I was only adding so much more positive energy and more balance to my life.

Although the hundreds of miles of trails that I had been hiking was helping, it still wasn’t the full answer that I was looking for. But I had fallen in love with being out on trail, and it became a passion for me from that very first hike. I knew that it was helping me get better, but I just needed something more. I needed to really challenge myself. I had to step outside of that comfort zone that I had created for myself on the short, easy trails. I felt like taking the risk to truly push myself physically, emotionally and mentally, would come with a great reward.

I have known about the Adirondack Mountains for as long as I can remember. I learned throughout my research of hard trails to hike in New York State, that of all of the places that a hiker can really experience this level of hiking, would be to hike the high peaks in the Adirondacks. I chose Rocky Peak Ridge the day that I decide to take what was one of the biggest risks that I’ve ever taken in my life. I had never hiked in the mountains. Let alone a 4000+ foot mountain. I had no clue what I was up against that day or for what was about to become almost full circle to having the answer that I had been searching for.

The weather that day was absolutely perfect. Although it was a challenging hike to get to the top of that mountain, I still loved every second of that climb. Then I broke the tree line where it opened up to the exposed ridge. I knew that the view from that ridge would be amazing from the second that I turned around. It was that day, on top of that ridge, and in that very spot where I turned, I seen that view and instantly knew that I had found my answer. I had found my way to win my battles and to finally take control of my life. I hiked 23 of the 46 high peaks in the Adirondacks that summer. I was learning so much more about myself with each high peak that I climbed. I was finally taking control of my life, and I was winning some pretty big battles.

That full answer though, it was still missing something. There was something that I wasn’t doing for myself that those mountains just weren’t showing me. I didn’t know how much further I could hike, or how many more mountains that I could climb to have that full answer. I decided that maybe what I needed was a trail that would make me have no choice but to face everything from my past at once. A trail that would allow me to heal. One that would allow me the time to forgive myself. I needed a trail that would give me the time to face my mental disorders head on.

The dream of hiking the Appalachian Trail had been number one on my bucket list for a long time. Even before becoming a hiker, I knew that hiking that trail would be the most epic experience ever. I also learned that this trail would be the perfect trail to hike in order to do all of the things for myself that I’ve been unable to do before. On April 21, 2024, I set out from Amicalola Falls in Georgia, hiked the approach trail to Springer Mountain, and my dream of hiking the Appalachian Trail became a reality. I spent 150 days of what was the hardest thing that I’ve ever done in my life. I spent 150 days of facing my past, and winning the battles that were the biggest battles left for me to win. Over that time, I was able to inspire positive thinking, I was able to practice presence, I was able to slow down, I was able to enhance my emotional resilience and find my balance. Most importantly, I was able to forgive myself for being the person that I once was, and I was able to forgive myself for wasting so much of my life by being that person. On September 17, 2024, I climbed to the top of Mount Katahdin in Maine. I walked up to that magical place on that summit and when I touched that sign, everything that I had been through in my life, all of the bad choices, all of the guilt and regret that I had been carrying, was all gone in that moment. After hiking 2197.4 miles, the full answer was finally there. It was the life changing moment that I had worked so hard for and never gave up on.

I found my balance

Although I will live the rest of my life with the mental illnesses that I have, I know now that I have control over where my life is going to take me. Hiking, and especially long-distance hiking is my answer. I’ve been able to see some of the most beautiful places and have met some of the most amazing people that I’ve ever met. I’ve been able to travel to Arizona to hike 40 miles of the Arizona Trail, I hiked the Foothills Trail in South Carolina, and I am now just 20 high peaks away from completing my dream of becoming an ADK46r. Most importantly, and above all else, I have found my balance.

This year, I will continue my journey of long trails by starting with hiking the Empire State Trail in April, from my home here in Rome, NY out to the Adirondacks and then spending the month of May finishing my last 20 high peaks all in one thru hike style hike. This summer, I have plans to get out to Colorado to hike the Colorado Trail. I also have the Pacific Crest Trail, and the Continental Divide Trail planned for the near future as well. I would love to invite all of you to follow me on my upcoming journeys. I strongly believe that my story could inspire so many others to get out and tap into that healing energy that Mother Nature provides. By no means do you have to go hike thousands of miles like I did. Go to a park or go sit alongside of a river or stream somewhere. Go for a drive on some country roads and stop at a scenic overview. The pure, positive energy that nature provides is something that is unmatched by any other type of energy this world provides. It will allow you to do those things that I listed in “my definition” of the word hiking. If hiking is something that some can’t physically do or have no interest in doing, then hopefully my story will at least show people that no matter how tough life gets, that no matter how ready you are to just give up, that there is hope.

Closing thoughts

In closing, I would like to add that we only get one shot at this thing called life. We don’t get the days back that have come and gone. I wasted over 30 years of my life by making bad choices. Wasted so much time living in survival mode and taking each day for granted like I would get another chance at living that day. I hated who I was, hated my life, hated everything that I was as a person. Hiking has taken all of that away, and today, I love the person that I’ve become because I am no longer afraid to acknowledge the person that I once was. I know how hard it is to take control of the mental conditions that so many of us suffer from. But if you keep searching, if you keep learning, if you stay positive and you refuse to give up on yourself, your answer to finding that balance will one day show itself. Remember that the life you want, is on the other side of the things that you don’t want to do. Take risks. Follow your heart and not your brain. If you do that, you’ll find that your brain will have no choice but to follow along and will eventually have no choice but to get on the same page as your heart. That is the balance that we all need.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope that through all of my upcoming hikes, that I will be able to use my voice to not just tell my story, but to inspire others to want better for themselves. To find ways to overcome tragedy, and to find ways to win their battles on a daily basis. If you’d like to see how the rest of story unfolds, please follow my Facebook page and my Instagram. I will be posting a lot of amazing pictures and videos from my future hikes. You can also take a look at all of the beautiful pictures and videos from my Appalachian Trail hike as well as many others that I’ve been on. Beginning in April, I will be creating a YouTube channel for daily updates and video footage from the trail. I hope to see you all follow along on this incredible journey. It may just be the journey that you find the inspiration that you need in your life to create your own success story.

Thank you to all that have taken the time to read my story. I greatly appreciate it, and I hope to see you out on the trails.